My Butt Is Broken

Post nine of a thirteen-part series exploring Ruth’s makeover from dorky writer to disco diva

Who knew wiggling your bum could be so difficult? My abs certainly had a decent workout, purely from the amount I laughed last night. The look-at-me, I’m-so-sexy part of song two nearly did us all in.

Megan makes it look sensual; I looked like I was doing a poo. We were all crying with laughter. At one point, Megan explained to ‘just draw a circle with your bum’ and I figured out how to sexy-move round to the right. Yay! But then, I couldn’t figure out how to do it back to the left. Ha! It just all went wrong. I tried to show my hubby and kids when I got home and even they were in fits of giggles.

You’d think, at 45, I’d be in tune with my body. I’d love to be this sensual, sexy dancer, flirting with the audience, full of confidence and joie de vivre. Unfortunately, while my heart was willing, my brain and booty sure weren’t joining the party.

All six of us, (one had a work commitment), were in the same boat. It makes me wonder why six lovely, gorgeous, brave women find it so hard to do a sexy move. Yes, we are all complete amateurs, still concentrating on counting to eight and not tripping over our feet. Yes, we are not used to moving our bodies in this way. Yes, we’re doing it stone cold sober, (it might be different after a glass of bubbles). But we are all grown women who have lived in our bodies for 30/40+ years. You’d think we wouldn’t be flustered by a shoulder shimmy and a bum shake.

Back in the day, I would have thought nothing of shaking my booty on a bar in a pub, showing off while roaring with laughter and singing at the top of my lungs. But mum-of-four-adult-me barely remembers that carefree party girl. I’m not sure exactly when, how or why my self-confidence waned, but it hasn’t been easy to find the courage to strut my stuff in class, let alone on a stage.

For the past sixteen years, my body has been super-busy growing, delivering, feeding and comforting my babies. As wonderful as this is, (and I often count my blessings), between pregnancy changes, crazy hormones, thyroid issues, a Coeliac Disease diagnosis, and, now, the challenge of peri-menopause, I have often felt quite detached from my physical self. Sometimes, it’s as if my brain, heart and body are at war.

But I’m beginning to see things differently.

Learning to dance is teaching me to work with and love my body again.

In class, I’m easily doing things I found difficult nine weeks ago. I’m thinking about costumes, hair and make-up. I’m learning to focus on me and I’m rediscovering the confidence that used to come naturally. It’s still there. The girl who used to hit the dance floor with her BFF is reawakening. I just need to figure out how to wiggle my butt!

Catch ya next week!

xx

Want to know more about Born to Boogie Dance Connection?

Born to Boogie Series

A thirteen part series exploring Ruth's makeover from dorky writer to disco diva

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